Last week our ward had it's annual Primary Presentation. For those of you who aren't Mormon, the Primary Presentation consists of a lot of restless children, singing deeply out of tune and regurgitating gospel principles their teachers have written out. It's sort of a mix between absolutely adorable and slightly creepy. "Adorable" because who doesn't like watching a bunch of kids sing "I'm a Child of God" while picking their noses and waving to their parents in the audience. "Creepy" because it always strikes me a little strange to listen to these kids recite gospel doctrine like little robots.
Anyway, I chose to write about this event because in the past the Primary Presentation has meant nothing to me other than an hour off from listening to otherwise typically boring talks. However, this time the Primary Presentation made me think - not anything about the gospel, but what kind of kid will I be adding to this madness? Will I be adding the spit fire who sasses up to the microphone and screams "I KNOW the CHURCH is TRUE!"? Or will I be adding the boy who can't seem to figure out where he is and why in the world he isn't sitting with his parents? Or lastly, will I produce the Korean girl, who not only gave a dissertation on the "Dead Sea Scrolls," but after speaking sang a solo. A solo! Seriously, it was insane. I felt so bad for the other parents. This kid literally made all the other kids look like morons.
So, I don't know what kind of child I'm going to produce, but after watching this little scene I've come to term with a couple of things:
1. There's a very good chance my kid is going to be a moron because we aren't Korean and I can't carry a tune.
2. There's a good chance my child is going to be the incoherent screamer into the microphone because I'm sort of that now.
3. There's a very good chance that my child will be able to beat up that Korean girl...because I was sort of that little girl.