Monday, July 16, 2007

When you're a jet you're always a jet

I believe in my religion. I believe in its teachings and principles. I also believe when you put a bunch of us "believers" in one room it can get quite interesting. Picture this...It was a nice and peaceful Saturday afternoon. Dan had convinced me to come to his softball game and even participate. To be honest, I don't find softball to be a sport. I don't find baseball to be a sport. And please, don't get me started on golf. Anyway, I digress.

The game started and in almost thirty minutes I had a huge dirt burn on my back, my shin was sporting an awesome goose egg and I had gone 1-2 at bat. And then the real game began. In the last inning someone grounded the ball to Dan at third and he was about to tag out an incoming runner. To avoid being tagged out this individual we will affectionately name "Danny LaRusso" tried to karate kick Dan in the face. Once Dan tagged him out he warned the guy to be more careful. In response Danny LaRusso said, "What are you going to do cry about it?" Which as you can imagine sparked some other comments from Dan. Eventually, Danny LaRusso left the field and retired to his bench. Dan continued to talk about the recent event which led to a beautiful and classic response of the bird from Danny LaRusso. Now we all couldn't believe what was going on...and I was starting to love the fact that I had decided to play softball that day.

Finally, the game came to a close and both teams convened to congratulate one another and discuss the ridiculous antics of Danny LaRusso. In the middle of this, Danny approached Dan and our friend David. I thought for a minute we might see a Christian act on this field (in the shadow of the temple - might I add), but I was sorely disappointed. Instead, Danny LaRusso pleaded his innocence and when it was not immediately accepted he shouted out, "You want a piece of me?" I know, I know we all need to take a moment and collectively say, "Awesome."

Unfortunately, nothing happened. Okay fortunately, nothing happened. However, I will never miss a softball game again. The following day, I found myself sitting on a couch waiting for sacrament meeting to begin. While waiting I started to tell the story of yesterday and when I said the words, "karate kick," my eyes caught some movement on the opposite couch. Much to my surprise there sat our nemesis. I, of course, changed don't mess with someone who uses the words, "you want a piece of me?" with such power (my mom taught me that a long time ago). As I continued to sit there, our nemesis moved positions and locked onto Dan and David inside the chapel. Apparently, he proceeded to stare down Dan and then walk straight to him. Dan continued to talk to David while this nemesis stood behind them.

Church sports: Where all true testimonies can be found.